All training guides lie to you. Ours doesn't.
Sit. Lie down. Don't move. Ordinary pets need months of training, patience, and sometimes a behaviourist vet. Your Pet Stone already masters all of it. From birth.
The 3-step method (genuinely true)
Step 1: Take it out of the box. This is the most physical part of the whole process. Take your time, it's already nearly over.
Step 2: Put it down somewhere. A desk, a shelf, a windowsill. Doesn't matter where: it will stay exactly where you put it, without arguing, without negotiating, without scratching up the sofa.
Step 3: Do nothing. This is where the magic happens. Your Pet Stone executes the "stay" command flawlessly, without a single training session. No other animal on this planet has such a high success rate.
The real secret
The training guide included in the box is, obviously, a spoof. We put fake commands in there, fake exercises, a fake graduation diploma. You're going to laugh. Your stone, meanwhile, couldn't care less — and that's exactly the point.
The perfectly trained pet doesn't exist. Except here. Congratulations, you've got the best-behaved animal in the neighbourhood.